“I’ve been workin’ in the foster care system as a foster parent through Social Services for twenty-three years, and in all that time I ain’t never seen a case like this.  I feel so sorry for this little guy,” Mrs. Kelly whispered into Mac’s ear as they walked through the back hall of the courthouse.  Levi trailed slowly behind, looking out each window they passed as they made their way towards the exit sign.  “Staircase is on the left.  We can take it down and the exit is near the parking lot.  Where’d you park?  You can follow me to my house and meet with Levi while I make his lunch.”

“I walked.  My office is just down Main Street,” Mac answered.  “If it is not too much trouble, would you mind giving me your address so that I could meet up with you in just a few minutes?  I really need to check in with my secretary first so that I can make sure there isn’t anything pressing waiting for me at the office.  I didn’t expect this hearing to take so long.”

“These hearings always take a long time,” Mrs. Kelly tersely responded.  “You just have to get used to it.  When I started workin’ in foster care, I had to sit in the danged courthouse half the day.  I complained about it loud, too, ‘cuz I had kids to tend to and I wasn’t gettin’ paid extra to be sittin’ around all day at court.  Plus, I had to get a sitter just to show up at court.  Nowadays, they at least pay me to come to court so I can afford gettin’ a sitter.”

Mrs. Kelly reached into her oversized handbag and retrieved a pen and a crumpled up Wal-Mart receipt.  She wrote her address and telephone number on the receipt and then immediately handed it to Mac.  “Want me to make you some lunch?” she politely asked.

“Oh, no thank you.  I brought my own.  I’ll grab it from my office and eat with Levi at your house.”

“Suit yourself,” Mrs. Kelly responded, and then added almost as an after-thought, “I make a mean Sloppy Joe.”

“I bet you do.  I’ll take you up on that offer another day,” Mac said with a little laugh as she knelt down next to Levi and began to look directly into his eyes.  “I’m going to come and have lunch with you,” Mac said gently to the frail boy in front of her.  “Maybe we could talk a little, and then you can show me around Mrs. Kelly’s house?” 

“Don’t care,” Levi mumbled in response.  He looked agitated, yet Mac couldn’t shake the feeling that he was much more afraid than he was angry.  Mac reached out for his shoulder, hoping that a gentle pat on the back would assure him that she was a friend.  Instead, Levi recoiled as he pulled back and stared down at the ground and began to knock his tennis shoes together at the toe. 

Mrs. Kelly rolled her eyes.  “This kid is a piece of work,” she mumbled under her breath and then grabbed Levi by the hand as she began to cross the street with him towards the parking lot. 

Mac watched as Levi proceeded to walk away from her.  His tiny frame was in direct contrast with Mrs. Kelly’s ample one.   Levi turned briefly and nervously glanced back towards Mac.  She quickly waved to him, but he turned his body back in the direction of Mrs. Kelly, without waving back.

* * *

As Mac headed towards her office, she walked directly in front of the courthouse, which architecturally was an amalgamation of old and new.  Built in 1905 and placed on the National Registry of Historic Places, Sheridan’s courthouse sat majestically on top of a hill, and had the look of a capitol building, complete with a dome top.  In the summer, the grassy slope resembled a velvet carpet leading up to the courthouse steps, with fifteen-foot tall pine trees intermixed with cottonwoods whose limbs were heavy with brilliant foliage. 

The old section of the courthouse had an underground tunnel which previously connected the county jail to the sheriff’s residence.  The jail had long since been relocated, the sheriff no longer lived amongst inmates, and the former sheriff’s home was now the juvenile court annex, carrying with it the flavor of a colorful history.   The new wing to the courthouse was added a few decades back, and provided the government with the space it needed for additional offices.  This extra space was necessary for the government of a growing western town, but the new wing was fashioned in a manner that successfully balanced the historical elegance of the original structure. 

As she crossed Main Street on this bright day in late September, Mac admired the old dome brightly shining in the mid-day sun.  Fall was on its way, and the leaves on the beautiful trees surrounding the courthouse were beginning to show ebbs of color.  Autumn was peaceful in Wyoming with bright, crisp days.  But sometimes, without much warning, a warm Chinook breeze turned into a violent pre-winter snowstorm which dusted the grandiose peaks of the Big Horn Mountains with a light layer of snow.  Mac smiled to herself as she thought that this uncertainty of the weather made the season interesting.

As Mac continued to walk south along Main Street, her thoughts returned to the Landers family.  Mac had not met the other Landers children, but had read about them frequently in the local newspaper.  As a sports enthusiast, she regularly consumed the pages of The Sheridan Press, and the Landers children were often the focus of local sports coverage.  She felt as though she already knew them based on all of the reports she’d read in Levi’s court file, as well as the local press.  Mac began to recall some of the stories she had read about each of the kids.

Austen was a tall, charismatic young man.  She knew that he was a senior in high school and that he played varsity football for the Sheridan Broncs.  He had been the starting quarterback since his sophomore year and college scouts had been watching him since early this season.   Austen was also the forward on the school’s varsity basketball team, and the third baseman for their baseball team.  He had dark hair and dark blue eyes just like his mother, balanced with his father’s height.  Intuitively, Mac knew that Austen was considered popular.

Ben Landers was a sophomore in high school and a member of both the varsity wrestling and football teams.  Whereas Austen was tall and dark with blue eyes, Ben was short and brawny with dark eyes.  Mac pictured a burly, serious young man with an undercurrent of anger and energy furrowing deep inside.  Based on court reports, Mac knew that Ben had a reputation for being surly and not being afraid of getting into a fight.  Mac immediately recalled an episode following a football game during his freshman year that firmly backed up his reputation. 

Lauren Landers was in eighth grade and was a feminine version of Austen.  At five-feet-nine, she stood quite tall for a twelve-year-old girl.  Lauren was a tad lighter in color than Austen, having both light brown hair and eyes.  She was also an avid sports enthusiast, playing basketball, volleyball, softball, tennis, and golf, all while maintaining an active membership with her local swim team.   Mac pictured her as a typical ‘tween-ager – rarely caught without her MP3 player plugged in her ears.  Mac smiled to herself as she imagined that Lauren’s iPhone and music likely had the added benefit of tuning out her overbearing mother from time to time.

Levi was much more petite and fair skinned than his siblings.  Unlike his siblings, Levi had blond and curly hair accompanied by a set of piercing green eyes.  Similarly, Levi did not have the height that his siblings clearly inherited from their father, but he certainly had his father’s haunting good looks, though without an athletic frame it came across as a somewhat hollow and fragile appearance.

Mac reflected on Levi’s appearance in court that morning.  She didn’t see any overt signs of abuse or illness, though his voluminous medical records suggested otherwise.  Levi appeared afraid and guarded, but what child wouldn’t under the circumstances?  Mac decided to get to know Levi on a more personal basis before diving into the medical records which would undoubtedly provide Mac with the other side of the story.

  * * *

“I am so glad you’re here,” a breathless Mrs. Kelly said to Mac as she flung open the front door of her foster home.  Mac was alarmed at Mrs. Kelly’s flushed face and by the manner in which she was panting.  “We just had quite an episode.”

“An episode?  What do you mean?”  She had only been away from Mrs. Kelly for forty-five minutes, as she made sure to be brief while checking in with her law office staff after court.  

“It’s Levi.  He’s had another outbreak.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Mrs. Kelly.  Is Levi hurt?  What happened?”

Mrs. Kelly squinted her eyes at Mac.  “How much did the judge tell you about Levi’s conduct disorder?”

“I didn’t have any conversations with the judge about this case,” Mac explained to Mrs. Kelly.  “The public defender’s office called me requesting my assistance on a case.  I only recently accepted, and I don’t even have a complete file on Levi to review.  Please tell me what’s going on.”

“Them doctors – they call it a conduct disorder.  They don’t say what it is.  I’ve been around the block enough times to at least call it like I see it.  I ain’t no doctor, but I’ve raised enough kids to know that Levi is a bully.  But bullies don’t just get themselves born.  Somethin’ happens to ’em to make ’em inta bullies.  My money’s on one of them elder brothers, I tell you.  I bet they knock him around and without no way to defend against them bigger brothers, he picks on younger kids or throws a tantrum when he gets any chance.  And that’s exactly what happened when we got home from court.  He darned near went crazy, throwing stuff ‘round the baby’s room.  That boy done fished out a dirty diaper and wiped the baby’s stinky crap all over the walls.   I’ve had my share of delinquent foster kids, so don’t think I can’t handle it – but he keeps this up and he is out the door.  I’m too old for this, and I’m not willing to deal with it for much more.  I’ve had kids steal my car, steal money outta my purse, set fires in the woods, blow up frogs with firecrackers – you name it, I’ve dealt with it.  But I am not gonna be wipin’ no shit off no walls.  You hear me?”

Mrs. Kelly took a deep breath and without another word, she motioned with her head for Mac to follow her into the house and towards the room where Levi was sitting. 

The house was an old Victorian, but it had long ago lost its glamour.  The rooms were small, and a musty smell permeated throughout.  The furniture inside the house was sparse and tattered.  Paint was peeling from the walls.   The living room had one old couch with a small television in the corner sitting on top of cinder blocks.  TV trays were lined up in front of the couch with what appeared to be the remains of breakfast on each plate. 

Mac followed Mrs. Kelly to a closed door near the back of the house.  Mrs. Kelly knocked twice before turning the door knob.   She pushed on the door, but it only gave way an inch.  “Oh, what has this kid done now?” she shouted to no one in particular before using her weight up against the door.  When the door responded to Mrs. Kelly’s attempts by only moving another inch or so, Mrs. Kelly tersely shouted out for Mac to give her a hand. 

Mac helped push on the door, which only began to open after the sound of furniture moving escaped from within. “Damn kid put the crib in front of the door,” Mrs. Kelly unnecessarily explained to Mac. 

With her narrow frame, Mac was able to squeeze herself through the partially opened door, and when she entered the room, she immediately saw Levi crouched in a corner with his head between his knees and both arms crisscrossed over his head.  Mrs. Kelly, who was far too wide to enter, was unable to follow Mac into Levi’s room.   

“Levi, I’m Mac.  Remember me?  I met you at the courthouse a bit ago.  I am here to help you.”

Levi did not flinch.    

“Can you tell me why you are so upset?”

Again, Levi did not move.  Mac could see his chest heaving, probably because he was either crying or out of breath from his tantrum – or both.  His blond curly hair was matted to his head and was wet with sweat.  Mac looked around the room.  Mrs. Kelly was right.  It appeared that Levi had taken diapers out of the Diaper Genie and smeared feces on the walls.  The baby’s crib had been moved behind the door, as was evidenced by the scratches on the hardwood floor.  The linens had been tossed around.  Toys were broken.  Heads had been ripped off teddy bears and the stuffing spewed out.  Levi’s hands were filthy, and he smelled. 

Mac took a seat next to Levi on the floor and sat there in silence for a few moments just listening to him breathe.  She sensed that he was calming down after a few minutes.

 “When I was little, my dad died,” Mac started.  Levi did not move.  “I was so angry that he left me.  I didn’t understand what happened or why, and I just wanted my daddy back and for things to go back to the way they were before he died.”  Levi’s head picked up a bit.  “I even got so mad one time that I cut the hair off my favorite doll.  My mom scolded me, but that didn’t stop me.  A few days later, I broke the wheels off my brother’s G.I. Joe Army truck.  Now, that didn’t go over too well, as you can imagine.  My brother was hysterical and my mom got really mad.”  Levi pulled his head up just a bit higher.  Mac could see his watery green eyes.  She kept on telling him the story.

“I was so mad at my mom because I thought that she made my dad die.   All she did after he died was curl up on her bed and stare off into space.   It made me hate her.  One day when she was curled up in a ball, I marched into her bathroom and broke off all of her Avon lipsticks.  Later when my mom found my mess, she went berserk.”

Mac scooted a little closer to Levi.  He didn’t move away from her, so she kept on talking.

“After that, my mom made me go stay with my grandma.  I don’t remember how long I stayed at my grandma’s, but I tell you, it was boring there.  There were no toys.  No cartoons.  Nothing at all to do.  It was winter in Colorado, so it was too cold to go outside.  I just sat there.  It seemed like forever.  I wanted to break something at my grandma’s house so I could go back to my mom’s.   I remember walking around their house, which smelled like a giant mothball, looking for something to break.  I remember finding the perfect thing:  a coo-coo clock in the back bedroom.  Every hour the little blue bird came out of the top window of the clock that was shaped like an A-frame house.  I waited and waited until it was ten o’clock in the morning and when that silly little bird came out for her seventh ‘coo,’ I pinched her with my fingers and pulled real hard.  The clock came off the wall and broke into a million pieces.”  Levi’s head raised up another inch.  Tear tracks had made their way down his cheeks, and droplets dripped from his chin onto his pants.  He wiped his runny nose with the back of his hand.

“My grandma came running in that room so fast.  It was the fastest I’d ever seen her move.  I could tell by the look on her face that she was really mad.  I expected her to spank me and yell at me and send me home, but she didn’t.”  Mac paused, baiting Levi.  She looked at him for a long time, hoping that he would ask her what happened next.  He stared into Mac’s deep brown eyes, silently begging her to go on, but Mac wanted him to speak.  She hoped that she could invite a connection between them.  She waited another minute, and then another. 

“W-w-what did she do?” he finally asked, his voice quivering.

Mac smiled and slowly inched forward towards Levi.  “She held me in her arms so tight that I could barely breathe.”

“Was she hurting you?”

“No, Levi.  She was loving me.  She gave me the longest teddy bear hug you can imagine.  And then she helped me pick up all the pieces to the clock and together, we glued them back together.  The clock never worked again, but she kept it on her wall anyway.  Every time I went to her house from that point on, I looked at that clock and felt so bad that I had broken it.”

Levi nodded.  Tears continued to drip down his cheeks.  Mac reached into her purse and retrieved a tissue.  She thought about offering the tissue to Levi, but realized that she had an opportunity to connect, so she seized it.  She reached over and blotted his tears while continuing to talk.

“This all happened when I was about five.  When I was seventeen and packing my suitcases for college, do you know what she did?”

Levi shook his head, not knowing.  “What?”

“She hid the clock in one of my bags.  When I later got to college and unpacked, I found the clock.  Inside, there was a letter from my grandma telling me that sometimes we can’t fix what is broken.  The clock was unique – my father had given it to her after he returned from a business trip to Europe.  It wasn’t replaceable, and it was something very special to her.  Just like my father.  And me.  She told me that she loved me no matter what I did.”

Levi looked away.  The tears had returned.

“Mrs. Kelly is upset because you messed up this room.  Why don’t you and I clean it up together?  She has a right to be upset, just like you do, Levi.  You have a right to be sad right now.  It’s okay.  I understand.  We need to learn something from this.  What do you think we should learn?”

Levi did not answer.  Mac reached out to touch his face, but he pulled back.

“We don’t have the right to break other people’s stuff just because we get upset.  I had to learn that lesson too, Levi.  I could not understand why God took my dad away.  I was so angry.  I wanted –”

“How did he die?” Levi asked, looking back toward Mac with large, hungry eyes.

“A car accident.  It was snowing.  He and my mom had an argument, and he left the house to calm down – and while he was gone he had a terrible accident.”

“Were you mad at your mom for making him die?”

Mac was surprised by his question.  She drew in a deep breath and tried to think of an answer that would be appropriate, but she found herself at a loss for words.

“Well, Levi, my mom didn’t make my dad die.  It was just an accident.”

Levi shook his head at Mac, insistent as he responded.  “No it wasn’t.  My dad says there are no such things as accidents.”